Thursday, March 21, 2013

Warriors Playoff Chances

First off I fully expect the Golden State Warriors to make the playoffs. They have been scuffling as of late but completely falling out of the playoff race is not something very likely because 1) they are four games ahead of the 9th place Utah Jazz with 12 games to go so that is possible but unlikely to happen and 2) i can't imagine stephen curry and david lee allowing this team to fall off the rail like that. The two of them are just too good to allow that to happen to this young team. If they do then the front office has to make some changes because they have as good a starting five as anyone in the league and two quality guys coming off the bench in Ne-Yo aka Jarret Jack and Carl Landry in addition to a solid interior defender in Festus Ezeli. Granted when they're on offense they might as well be playing 4 on 5 but there is always something valuable about a guy that could defend big men in the playoffs especially looking at the quality teams at the top of the western conference. That being said let's look at the possible matchups.

The Warriors are going to get no higher than a 6 seed and at worst an 8th seed. First let's look at their possible opponents as a 6th seed. Currently the 3rd seed is the Memphis Grizzlies and if that happens the Warriors are fucked with a capital F-U-C-K. They haven't beaten them this year in three games and i don't remember any victories against them last year either. Matchup wise this is the worst it can get for the Warriors. First off the biggest weakness they have is going against a team with a solid post game. Notice i didn't even say great, just solid. Well the Grizzlies have two studs in the only Gasol brother with a Y Chromosome and Z-Bo. The other guys rounding out their lineup is the ageless Tayshaun Prince (of the 04 champion detroit pistons), Mike Conley Jr, who allegedly played on the same team as Greg Oden but who knows if those myths are true, and the best pest in the league Tony Allen. Then on the bench they got Jerryd bayless who at one time was thought to be a future all star but then he went to toronto and you know how that's the place where irrelevancy is the city's motto. But he found his niche as a sixth man because the kid could get hot and put points up in a hurry. So the Grizzlies mix other guys in the game but go with with that main 6 man rotation and it works for them. Everyone has a designed role and the offense runs from Conley through to the two big boys. The Warriors are not going to pick up many offensive rebounds so they better not be settling for jump shots. They have to attack the basket, get to the line, get the big boys in foul trouble, and when the jumper is there knock it down. There's a difference between knocking down open jumpers and settling for jumpers so the Warriors gotta knock them down. Assuming Tony Allen guards Klay Thompson, then Stephen when Jack comes into the game production needs to come from the point guard position and David Lee needs to do his thing against Z-Bo. I figure those two will cancel each other out and put up 20-10 so Jack and Steph need to take advantage of Mike Conley. Also Bogut I know is not healthy but needs to slow down Gasol. If Gasol is going crazy then you might as well call it a series. Prediction is 4-1 Grizzlies with Warriors taking Game 3 at home. It's going to be eerily reminiscent of the Utah series from back in 07 when Boozer and Paul Millsap killed them inside.

Next up is the team fans better be praying to play because honestly this is the Warriors best chance to win a best of 7 series and that team is the Flop City, shit i mean Lob City aka the disappointing son of LA basketball. UCLA has made as many more final four appearances than the Clippers have won playoff series in my lifetime and the only reason they won in the first round last year is because Emperor David Stern didn't let Chris Paul go to the Lakers. And can we stop the OMG Deandre Jordan killed Brandon Knight with that dunk. First of all he outweighs the dude by 80 pounds and has like a 9 inch height advantage or some shit plus he has crazy hops to begin with. Should i just dunk over by 13 year old cousin on a fisher price rim because that is the same shit. Don't even get me started on Princess Griffin. She better start developing some post moves or her career is going to go the way of a softer Brittney Griner, no disrespect to Ms. Griner. Only real motherfuckers on that team are Chris Paul, Eric Bledsoe, and the OG's Chauncey Billups and Grant Hill. Everyone else is overrated. You say Jamal Crawford is the best sixth man, i say make Monta Ellis come off the bench and witness a dude who doesn't start average 20. The Warriors have answers at every position. Chris Paul i give the advantage to but it can be cancelled out with the Jack/Curry combination. Willie Green, i don't even know who that is. There's nothing Caron Butler can do that Harrison Barnes can't. David Lee already put Princess in her place before and won't hesitate to again. Deandre Jordan won't be on the floor when it matters because the dude is worse than Shaq at the line and has no offensive move other than to jump with ball in hand and throw it through the net. Jamal Crawford could make a difference here. I think bledsoe's role would just to annoy the shit out of Curry so Steph better bring his A-game offensively. Jamal Crawford could go off so they can't let him get rolling. If these was two years ago i would have said Lamar Kardashian is an x-factor but its 2013. And i just wasted this sentence talking about matt barnes and that's all you need to know about him. Key to this is the Warriors keeping Crawford in check and not letting Paul completely take over because he has been known to put a team on his back come playoff time. Warriors in 6, they steal game 1 then win games 3,4, and 6 at home a la Dallas 07 playoffs.

best celebration i've seen in a while
Next up are the Denver Nuggets who if you haven't been paying attention are no joke. They took the Lakers to 7 games i believe last year and have come back this year letting the league know they are no joke. First off they got the deepest rotation in the league and every single person that they put on the floor contributes and has a purpose. They don't have any Andris Biedrins out there to take up space, every person that plays for Denver is counted on to contribute. They remind me a lot of the mid 2000's detroit pistons that were just a great team despite not having that definitive star. The difference is that these nuggets have better depth than those pistons squads. They are a young team that runs to their benefit because they have the athletes and gunners to do so. Ty Lawson might be the fastest point guard in the league, Iguodala can defend the 1 through 3 positions. Gallinari is one of those dudes that you better hope doesn't get rolling from deep and finally they got my man Kenneth Faried. The dude just does not run out of gas in his tank and if there is a loose ball you best believe he is the one that is going it end up with it. I have a feeling he is going to kill the Warriors with multiple offensive boards. Then you got the bench and my other brother Javale McGee. People clown him for making stupid ass plays but he usually will have at least one spectacular play to offset it. Props to George Karl for keeping the stupidity rate to a minimum because we have seen what we can do when he is on and if you don't know just ask the Lakers about last years first round. Then you go Wilson Chandler and Corey Brewer who are excellent defenders off the bench and moreso Chandler will surprise you every now and then with a bunch of points. Lastly you got the ageless wonder Andre Miller who has looked the same since the day he was rocking the Cavaliers jersey. When you can bring a guy like that off the bench and stabilize your second unit that is just a luxury a contending team can only dream of. The Nuggets are my second favorite team to watch in the league so i'm hoping the warriors do not draw them in the first round also because they are pretty damn good. Nuggets in 5, Warriors win game 3 at home. No way Denver loses in that altitude.

please don't let this guy beat you
The only way the Warriors are going to beat the Thunder is if Russell Westbrook makes it his mission to single-handedly win the series. Other than that it isn't happening. Kevin Durant is too much of a superstar to lose to an upstart team like the Warriors. That is why it is imperative Steph Curry plays well especially in this series. Obviously he needs to be a stud in any series but if he starts going off against Westbrook then Westbrook is going to feel the need to match him shot for shot and we all know how that will turn out. Thabo can defend the crap out of any 2 guard in the league and the Ibaka/Lee battle would be a good one to watch and could potentially swing it into the Warriors favor. Bogut and Perkins pretty much cancel each other out. I don't even have to say anything about Durant. Him being on the floor tips the series on the Thunder's favor. Kevin Martin off the bench is going to provide a spark and you already know the lying sleazeball Derek Fisher is going to hit at least one dagger 3 pointer to ice the game for the Thunder. Not much to say here other than i hope the Warriors don't slip to that 7 seed. The rockets and thunder would be better for TV anyway so David Stern, make it happen. Thunder in 6 because i predict Russell Westbrook will try to out do Curry and will fail horribly then Skip Bayless will call him Russell West-Brick as if he is original. Beware any NBA players whose name has a B in their name, not that it should matter but Skip Bayless is contractually obligated to change your name to include some form of brick. Ko-Brick Bryant. Fuck it i'm sure he'll use any excuse to say it. Danillo Galli-Brick. Roy Hi-Brick. Metta World Brick. God i wonder what goes through that man's head.

Alright let's face the facts the Warriors have no chance in beating the Spurs. Sure they beat them once in overtime but what the hell, the sun shines on a dog's ass somedays too. Ginobli, Parker, and Duncan could all retire 5 minutes before tip off of game 1 and it wouldn't matter. Popovich would just go into his vault of anonymous international talent that he has stored away somewhere and pick 3 guys from belarus, cambodia, the Island of Blue Dolphins and plug  them into the lineup without missing a beat. Or if he doesn't have time to go to the vault he'll pick the hot dog guy, the guy who dunks off the trampoline during commercial break, and the guy that mops the floor and boom they'll combine for 30 points right there. Seriously i don't know how Popovich does it. He took Matt Bonner and made him useful. Malik Rose was on the team for so goddam long. He baited the Warriors into thinking Speedy Claxton was worth money. Stephen Jackson somehow doesn't freak out. I don't get it. Two of the stars don't even speak good english and the other once got ejected for laughing. Would it surprise anyone if the Spurs rested Duncan, Ginobli, and Parker for games 3 and 4 yet still swept the series? And don't tell me that's not a possibility. Spurs in 4, i'm sure they would give a rat's ass how loud Oracle would get.

Well we see the odds are slim for the Warriors to make it on to the next round according to my expert analysis of espn highlights. One can only hope Steph goes off like this consistently or they get matched up with the overrated Clippers. Warriors will be interesting next year with Thompson and Harrison Barnes continuing to develop and hopefully Curry can get some titanium ankles and Bogut just stays in a bubble to prevent any freak accidents. Then Draymond Green needs to solidify himself as a defensive stopper and hopefully Festus goes to Costco and buys all the lotion he can so he can get some softer hands. And for the love of God Mark Jackson play Kent Bazemore.

Modest Mouse- Ocean Breathes Salty

you can't even hate on this song

Shady 2.0 Cypher

just because this was too ill

i got love for all my futbol fans out there.

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